After the birth of their third child, Sarah and Levi felt stretched too thin. They both worked full-time, and on top of it Levi traveled for work 3 days a week. They felt like the romance got lost in the chaos, and needed to hit the reset button on their relationship...
Even with our third baby just being 3 months old, we do date night every Friday night. We’re really lucky because our in-laws take the kids every Friday night, but every single Friday night we just go to eat. And I love the weekly Date Nights that we get because they give me such great ideas like going to try a pottery class or doing a tailgate but without a game – just blaring music, sitting on a picnic blanket, and watching the sun set – I tell my husband about all of them and he is like “Okay when are you going to be off your nursing schedule so we can try these!”
Life has obviously been really busy and crazy lately with my newborn son. My husband is gone every week for 3 days for work, and I’m gettin ready to go back to work. So I always feel like there are a hundred things I’m not doing, that I’m behind on this long list of To-Dos, that I’m barely keeping it together and it’s just been overwhelming. But Relish has so many great lessons on gratitude and mindfulness and one just came at the perfect time for me. It was this lesson on how scientists have discovered that grateful thoughts can actually change the way your brain works and reset the pathways or whatever in your brain, and I felt really moved by that because it was clear that just by changing my thinking, I could change my perception. So I did the exercise and I looked around and I reminded myself that my 3 babies are all healthy and happy and my husband and I are lucky to have jobs and stability and we have in-laws that live close by and give us a huge gift of weekly adult time and I’m really happy overall and I honestly felt a difference in my body, like a weight had been lifted. I now make a point to do a ‘gratitude practice’ every day, even if it’s as small as looking up and going ‘Oh wow it’s a really beautiful day’ or something simple like that, I just make sure to think those things every day and now I think more clearly and I let things roll off me a lot quicker – like I don’t get bogged down in the details, because the big things are going great.
My husband doesn’t know I have signed up for Relish yet, so I’m sure he’s been wondering what’s going on with me lately – but I’m not a really affectionate person in public, but I got a lesson about holding hands and all this data about how important physical affection is and the next time we went out to run errands I just reached for his hand. Honestly, it felt a little awkward and I could tell he was sort of surprised but I just stayed with it and after we ran our errand and were walking back to the car and still holding hands I felt so… nice. Just closer to him, just more intimate and more secure, but it was something I realized I have the opportunity to do so often and I don’t – and I really should. It’s just like, everything I’ve gotten feels like something I need.
It’s just like, everything I’ve gotten feels like something I need.
It’s so funny, I remember all my Relish lessons – I think about them constantly and they are always top-of-mind for me. Can’t think of what I had for breakfast this morning but I can tell you what my Relish plan last week told me to do! And I’ll often go back and revisit them because I feel like the more I remember, the more I’m growing. Before Levi comes home from his work trips I re-read the one about broadcasting emotions so I don’t just dump everything on him the second he walks through the door, you know? We both make sacrifices, we both go through challenging days but we can always make it better for each other, not worse. I just feel myself becoming more patient and more accountable and more loving every day… I almost don’t want to tell him about Relish because I want him to think I’ve done all this work on my own!