Skip Bridezilla, Meet Bridechilla! The Best Wedding Advice For Your Big Day
Weddings are supposed to be a day of celebration, and while they are so fun to attend, they are not always so fun to plan... It can be super difficult managing both sides of the family, different expectations for the wedding, logistics and rowdy wedding parties all while trying to make sure that you have a special and fun day. To avoid stress-induced bridezilla moment (or entire days....), consider the following wedding advice for ways to minimize stress leading up to and on your big day:
Plan out details and then focus on having fun the day of the big event
When you’re in the planning stages of the wedding, no detail is too small to be planned out. Knowing the logistics for how people get the ceremony and the reception, having a spot dedicated for gifts, planning out where you want people to sit, etc., etc. can all help minimize your stress when the actual wedding day arrives. The goal is to plan everything out ahead of time (ESPECIALLY for a larger wedding), so that you don’t have to worry about things on the day of the wedding. Planning the details out can be super important for your peace of mind, but it’s equally important to understand that not everything will go exactly according to plan. It’s likely that something will go wrong, the caterer could be running late or your in-laws could get lost on the way to the reception... so staying relaxed despite a change of plans is also important.
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Don't underestimate your time
A huge mistake couples make during the wedding planning process is underestimating how much time it can take to get things done. Between the rehearsal dinner, the reception, the ceremony, the party and all the mini engagements you have with various members of your family and friends, you will likely be running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off. While you probably can’t avoid any of these engagements, you can schedule downtime for yourself in between them so that you are not super overwhelmed. Trying to balance squeezing everyone in with not overbooking yourself can be a delicate act, but it's super important when it comes to minimizing stress on your wedding day. A great solution can be to combine different engagements so that you can see everyone you need to see without having to bop around the different places.
Feed the wedding party
Do not underestimate the seriousness of hanger (aka hunger + anger). While you might think that people are able to feed themselves and avoid “hanger”, you shouldn’t make this assumption and risk an angry wedding party or people getting too drunk. After all, people might be in a new city, on a budget or just too excited to take the time to feed themselves, especially if you have lots of things planned for the wedding party. Providing meals or even just snacks during the wedding photo shoot or in between big events can make a huge difference in people’s moods and drunkenness. The snacks don’t need to be expensive (remember how important budget is!), just filling and plentiful so that people can keep their hanger in check.
It can be super easy to get carried away in the planning stages of a wedding, wanting to invite all the friends and family, having super high expectations for the food and needing the perfect venue, splurging on flowers (who knew bouquets were SO expensive...), but all these things really add up and can totally break the bank if you’re not careful. Before you start planning the wedding, you and your partner should talk about your budget, and what is realistic. Having a budget in mind at the beginning and actually sticking to the budget can help you avoid stress throughout the process and on your special day. Because while your wedding day is important, the marriage itself is more important. The wedding is only one day, and it’s not worth starting your relationship in debt. Furthermore, feeling comfortable with the amount of money you’re spending will keep your expectations for the day in check. If you overspend, you might expect everything to be absolutely perfect, and that’s not a healthy or, frankly, realistic expectation to have.
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Get a day of wedding coordinator
I know we just talked about not overspending, but if you can afford it, investing in a wedding coordinator can make a huge difference on your wedding day. A wedding coordinator is different from a wedding planner in that they just help with the wedding the day of. Wedding coordinators manage catering and logistics details on the big day so that you don’t have to worry about it. They can act as the front line of defense if something does go astray, and (if they’re good) can handle it without you knowing anything was wrong in the first place. If you don’t have money to hire a wedding coordinator, you should consider appointing a friend/member of the wedding party to serve this role. Having another person manage the details will help you feel less stressed, and the person will likely be happy to help you out on your special day. Additionally, if you plan to pass off the wedding coordinator role to someone else on the big day, you will be forced to get all your ducks in a row beforehand so that things are off your plate.
Talk it out with a therapist
General wedding anxiety is super common, and not anything to be embarrassed or ashamed of. It can be overwhelming trying to coordinate all your friends and family in addition to all the logistics that go into wedding planning. If you are feeling overwhelmed, you should consider talking to a relationship coach at Relish. The relationship coach can help you find solutions to your stressors and encourage support from your partner in a way that will fit into your schedule. The coaching is all on your timeline, and is customized to your needs as a soon to be married couple.
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