What is couple’s therapy anyways?
As mental health is becoming less and less stigmatized, people are beginning to seek out therapy options to help address some problems they face, whether the struggles are anxiety, depression, stress or a variety of other mental health struggles. Therapy is a great way to address personal struggles that affect our day to day lives, our connections to other people and our romantic relationships. But sometimes personal therapy isn’t enough to help you address, cope with and overcome relationship difficulties. That’s why couple’s therapy has emerged as a solution for couples that are having relationship problems. Like one-on-one therapy, couple’s therapy can be tailored to meet your specific needs as a couple.
Do you need help improving your communication? Is one of you too dependent on the other? Do you feel like you are ALWAYS fighting, even about the small stuff? Couples therapists are expertly trained to help you and your partner navigate these common and difficult issues, so that your relationship can flourish!
In-person Therapy
Couples therapy can look like a lot of different things. For some, couples therapy can mean seeking out relationship books to read and discuss together (think of a self-help book for couples!) For others it can mean using available resources like quizzes and chat-groups on the internet to help them identify and deconstruct their problems. When most of us think about therapy of any kind, including couple’s therapy, we think about seeing a therapist in-person to talk out our issues. In-person couples therapy is a great way for you and your partner to discuss the struggles you are having in your relationship, in a safe space, with a skilled facilitator that can help you find solutions to your problems. In-person therapy can work really well for lots of couples and is definitely worth exploring if you find yourselves at that point in your relationship.
Potential drawbacks of in-person couple’s therapy
But, before coming to the decision to go to in-person couples therapy, you and your partner should consider everything that in-person therapy entails. A lot of in-person couples therapy can cost a significant amount of money, and it is not normally covered by insurance, meaning that you will have to pay out-of-pocket. This type of monetary strain can often make therapy more stressful than helpful for your relationship. In addition to the monetary cost of therapy, there is a time cost. In-person couples therapy sessions require both you and your partner to attend, which will require syncing up your schedules and spending a chunk of time with your therapist on a regular basis. For many busy couples, this is not always an option. You should consult with each other to see if in-person therapy is a viable solution for your relationship in terms of your schedules, especially if you’re so busy that therapy together is some of the only time you have as a couple.
Finally, in-person couples therapy can often be very intimidating. Some people excel in talk-therapy situations, where you dive right into talking about your emotions, struggles and other difficult topics. But for many people, revealing those types of things to a stranger, even if they are a therapist, can be very overwhelming. And feeling overwhelmed can be a roadblock in making any real progress. While there are many benefits to in-person therapy, it’s not the right choice for every couple.
Relationship Therapy vs. Relationship Coaching
Before you invest the time and energy it takes to look into relationship therapy, you should consider if you and your partner actually need therapy. Therapy can be a very useful tool if you need to talk through certain emotions, specific aspects of your relationship, or if you are having a difficult time understanding why you or your partner feel a certain way. If you find yourselves in this situation, you should wholeheartedly look for a relationship therapist. But, many times when couples seek out therapy, they are actually in search of relationship coaching.
Relationship coaching is a more actionable, goal oriented approach to improving relationships. Think of you and your partner as a team and your relationship coach, as well, a coach. They will set up drills for you, supervise your practice sessions and cheer you on when you put in hard work and effort. Relationship coaching is great for couples that have goals in mind that they want to work towards. Do you want to improve your communication skills? Do you want to feel closer to your partner? Do you need help learning how to find resolution after arguments? Relationship coaching can help you work towards all these things, making your relationship stronger, and more long-lasting!