8 Simple Ways To Be More Confident Every Day
A lot of people struggle with feeling confident in their everyday life, and while you may think that feelings of insecurity are a solely personal thing, insecurity can actually really affect your relationships with other people. Insecurity can cause you to be suspicious of other people, which can breed a lot of mistrust, misunderstandings and resentment. People who struggle with insecurity tend to have anxiety, and might struggle with being honest about their feelings, which can cause them to be more needy. These qualities can stress any relationship, but can be especially difficult in romantic relationships, where your partner often acts as your primary emotional support system.
While gaining confidence is often easier said than done, it’s important to try and become more confident so that you can be more open and trusting of other people. Learning confidence will not only improve your feelings of self worth and general happiness, it will also improve your relationships with other people, including your significant other! It’s important to find a partner that loves you for who you are, but it’s important to note that you can’t rely entirely on your partner for a confidence boost. Here are a few ways to feel confident in your everyday life, so that confidence can become a part of your identity:
Stay present
A lot of times, a lack of confidence can be due to over scrutinizing situations. Over scrutinizing situations often looks like obsessing about things you could have done differently or ways you could have changed your behavior, and beating yourself up about how things went down. The fact of the matter is that no one is perfect, and we are all likely to make mistakes or handle a situation poorly. The important part is accepting this fact of life, moving on, and not being overly critical of yourself or how you handled something. Staying present, and not worrying about the things that have already happened will help you move past the tendency to reflect on the past, and will let you move forward, feeling more confident because you aren’t critiquing things that you cannot change. Staying present will look different for different people, but it can be as simple as recognizing self-critical thoughts as they arise and actively working to push those thoughts out of your head. It can also entail replacing the negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Staying present can also mean setting intentions for the day, and checking in on those intentions as the day goes on. Regardless of how you commit to staying present, doing so will help you feel more confident in your everyday life.
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Let go of expectations
Like we said above, it’s never good to think about the past too much, but it’s also never good to think too much about the future too much. Creating expectations about what you want to happen or how you want something to go will not serve you in the present, and it will likely cause whatever does happen to be underwhelming or unexpected in the future. It’s important not to spend energy setting unrealistic expectations for yourself or for your life. Creating unrealistic expectations will absolutely tank your confidence, because you will never be able to live up to these expectations. Instead of thinking so much about the future, focus on yourself and what you are able to do in the present. Affirming your present self (even if you do have goals for the future) will allow you to be more confident in your everyday life.
Exercise
Exercising is a super great way to gain confidence in yourself. Exercising releases endorphins that make you feel good and energized. And when you feel good and energized, it’s hard not to feel confident in yourself! Exercising is also a great way to prove to yourself that you can set and achieve goals. Even if your goal is small, committing to the goal and achieving the outcome (let’s say walking/jogging a mile or doing five pushups) will give you fitness confidence that you can translate into other parts of your life! We should clarify here that the goal of exercise is not to lose weight, or change your body type. If your lack of confidence is due to issues related to body positivity, exercise is not the solution to your problems. Because, even if you do achieve your physical goals, you are not addressing the underlying issue, which is self love and self acceptance, and you likely won’t feel satisfied with how you look until you work on unabashed, condition-free self love. Exercising can be an important part of this journey, as you learn to appreciate your body for all that it can do, but it is not the sole solution.
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Eat well
Like exercising, eating healthy foods can improve your general well being, which can make you feel more confident. It can be difficult to feel super good about yourself if you are greasy, bloated or overfull all the time. Eating well is not about counting calories or going on super restrictive diets (though I do have a lot of friends that SWEAR by Keto...), it’s about filling your body with healthy food that will nourish your mind and body and help you feel satiated and confident! When you are focusing on eating well, it’s important to be kind and forgiving to yourself. Committing to fad diets with a lot of restrictions is not a realistic long term goal, and when you inevitably fail, it could lead you to feeling less confident than before. Focusing on changing your diet or eating better in small, incremental, REALISTIC ways will prove to yourself that you can create and achieve goals (building confidence) and it will result in healthier and more sustainable eating habits.
Avoid holding grudges
We already talked about how we can’t expect ourselves to be perfect, so along those same lines, we can’t expect other people to be perfect either. People in our lives are bound to mess up at one time or another and instead of letting these mess ups (no matter how big or small) weigh on us, it’s important to forgive and forget. When you give yourself permission to get over the grudge and move on, you allow yourself to live in the present. Taking initiative in this way, and trusting your own instincts of forgiveness will help you feel more confident moving forward.
Seek support
Sometimes a lack of confidence can stem from deep-seeded issues that are hard or even impossible to address all by yourself. If you feel like you need help building up your confidence, you should turn to a trusted friend or even a professional to help you. Friends and professionals will be able to offer an outside opinion and help you find ways to feel more confident. It can feel super intimidating to admit that you need help or to admit that you are lacking confidence in the first place. But, oftentimes, taking this leap of faith and admitting that you need help is the first step on the journey to self confidence! Admitting that you need help, and taking initiative can feel super empowering, which can help improve your confidence in and of itself. A good support system will help you gain more confidence and explore ways to gain confidence.
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Surprise yourself!
There’s a lot of advice out there that says something along the lines of “do something that scares you once a day”, and while this seems a little bit cheesy and perhaps extreme, the general idea is a good one! Challenging yourself to try new things or meet new goals can help you build confidence by proving to yourself that you are able to adapt and overcome different things. Putting yourself in new situations can be scary, but it also forces you to come out of your shell, or break free from your normal habits. Putting yourself in new situations and being able to adapt will show what you’re made of, and whether the results are good or bad, you can be proud of yourself for at least trying it out!
Provide support to a friend
Just like your friends want to support you, you want to support your friends! After all, that’s what friendship is all about! If you’re feeling down about yourself, it can be helpful to channel your energy into your relationships with other people. Your friends rely on you for support, and being there for them will not only help them out, but it will make you feel useful, which can improve your self confidence. Feeling helpful and needed can improve your feelings of belonging, which can increase your sense of self worth and, therefore, your overall confidence! Even if you don’t have a friend going through a hard time, putting positive energy into a relationship (whether it’s a platonic or romantic relationship) and receiving friendship, love and support back will help to improve your confidence while improving your relationships!
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