As much as we wish 100% of partners everywhere were as enthusiastic to use Relish as we are - the truth is that just isn’t how it works. And it doesn’t mean that your partner doesn’t want to work on your relationship or deepen your connection… it means they have their own reservations that could depend on a variety of factors.
However, we’re all capable of change. Anyone in a relationship knows that, right?
So if you’re hoping to bring your partner to the dark side (insert evil laugh here), we’ve got a couple tips that will make them an excited, willing, and engaged Relish user:
Tip #1: Talk about the issues, NOT each other
Consider these two options...
Option 1: You grow frustrated with your partner and just after a particularly bad fight, you announce exasperatedly, “You need help!” Then, you mention that you’ve been hearing about this relationship app called Relish and ask them if they’re interested in signing up.
Option 2: You're both aware of the issues between you, you’ve been in a downward spiral the last few months, and you know something has to change. At a calm moment, you sit down with your partner and say that you love them, you want things to improve, but you think you both need more objectivity - and propose bringing in a science-backed coaching app that will help you both gain clarity.
Tip #2: Choose your words
Now, we’re not “perfect communicators” but we do possess the collective wisdom of many, many experts. So… yeah… we’re pretty good. Here’s our advice for approaching the convo:
- “Honey, I want to have a conversation with you about what you want for our relationship.”
- “I want you to feel like you’re enough for me, accepted for who you are, and like this a great relationship for you.”
- “Would you be willing to have a quick conversation about our future with me?”
- “Sweetheart, I’m curious, if our relationship was good, what would our relationship feel like for you? What might we do more or less of? How might we do things differently?”
Tip #3: Move past the stigma
Explain to your partner, in no uncertain terms, that you do not think your relationship is broken, or beyond repair. Therapy or therapeutic tools are not, in your opinion, a doomsday indicator. Part of our negative perception around therapy is that we think it means the “last ditch effort” before splitsville. But that’s changing, and fast. As stigmas around therapy change, more of us are embracing the tool at our happiest points in relationships - not our lowest.
Tip #4: Set clear goals
Most people’s complaint about “getting help” with their relationship is that they never really accomplish anything. While we can’t speak for traditional therapy, that simply isn’t an option in Relish. Immediately upon signing up, you and your partner will both be prompted to set clear goals and each week’s lessons, quizzes, and date night ideas will help you stay motivated and bring you closer to your personal goal.
Make sure you communicate with each other as well - not just with Relish. Tell one another what your goals are, what you’re learning on Relish, and take notes of the ways in which your relationship improves or declines. Reach out to your Relish Coach if you hit any speed bumps or want additional help in a certain area. The best way to improve your relationship is to understand what you’re working towards - and that’s where we come in.
Tip #5: Remove Ambiguity
Another reason we form negative opinions around things is because we don’t understand them. If we don’t have information, we default to producing wild conspiracy theories or constructing elaborate theories in our heads. So remove the cloud of confusion!
- Sit down with your partner
- Show them your weekly plan
- Walk through your lessons, show them the quizzes
- Introducing them to your Relish experience will open the door to them having one too
Tip #6: Navigating “No”
If tips 1-5 fail to change their mind, then accept their resistance with grace. Good things come to those who wait and all that. So here are the ways you can navigate no without turning them off Relish for good (they’ll come around):
- Ask them to elaborate: Instead of accepting a knee-jerk reaction like “Nope,” dig a little deeper. Ask your partner to tell you why it’s “not for them” (not to refute each point or campaign for Relish, but to allow them to explore their own resistance).
- Share first-person testimony: Honestly illustrate the ways in which Relish has helped you so far. Just saying: “I’m sorry to hear that, because I’ve found out things about myself that have really helped me, and I think I’m becoming a better partner to you” is pretty powerful by itself.
- Echo their concerns: Whether their hesitation is around the cost, the invasive nature of “getting help,” or whatever, agreeing with their concerns will help them feel less alone in their opinion. “Yeah, I totally understand being nervous about getting help, it’s really scary” shows them you’re still in their corner.
- Keep doing you: When 50% of the relationship is changing in a positive way, that has a profound impact on the relationship as a whole. Your partner will notice. Just stay the course, keep learning, and wait for them to come around.
Hopefully these 6 tips will help you bring your better half aboard! Whether they become convinced immediately or if it takes a couple months’ time, just be respectful of their resistance while being honest and transparent about what this means to you. If you try tips 1-6 to no avail, reach out to your Relish Coach for additional help! Our experts are here to help you in any way you need - including knocking some sense into the ol' ball and chain.