Reddit Relationship Advice: Should You Follow It?
If you and your partner are going through relationship problems and feel like you need some advice, there are plenty of places to turn to both in-person, in the bookstore, in magazines and online. A lot of people turn to Reddit for this kind of advice and find that it is super helpful. Reddit is widely known as a news source, but it also works as a kind of forum. People can write posts in specific Reddit threads like r/politics, r/nflstreams and even r/relationship_advice, and these posts get upvoted, organizing them in your feed by popularity. People can then comment on the posts and offer advice or just commentary. While this may seem like an untraditional way to get relationship advice, a lot of people find the anonymity of Reddit very comforting. The relationship advice subreddit is a popular place for people struggling with diverse issues to get advice from other users.
In the relationship advice section, people share personal stories and ask their fellow redditors to weigh in. People chime in with similar stories and offer advice on how they handled it, other people express sympathy for tricky situations and sometimes people even link to relevant published articles to help people troubleshoot their problems. Forums like these can be a great place to find solidarity with others and can be an important reminder that relationship problems are universal. And while Reddit forums can be an awesome resource, it’s important to recognize that it's not always great to follow the advice given by other Redditers aka strangers on the internet. Afterall, there is no way to know if these people have professional training to provide relationship advice. Or if they are even in a relationship at all! We like to assume that everyone online is genuine and offering real advice, but unfortunately, this is not always the case. We aren’t saying that you should never consider advice from Reddit, but you should keep an eye out for red flags when looking to follow online advice. Here are a few red flags that should signal you to look elsewhere for advice:
Advice that suggests your partner will change
Any professional relationship therapist or counselor will warn you about waiting for your partner to change, or even wanting your partner to change. An important part of healthy relationships is accepting your partner for who they are, flaws included, which means not trying to change them. To clarify, this means looking passed annoying quirks NOT tolerating unhealthy, toxic behavior. You should not follow advice that tells you to wait around for your partner to change, or advice that encourages you to ‘change them for the better’. If you find yourself in this position, consider if their quirks are a deal breaker or if the relationship is unhealthy and you should get out.
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‘Forgive and forget’
People love to say that you must forgive and forget in order for relationships to move past conflicts. But this is only halfway true! In a relationship, it’s super important to work through your conflicts and learn to forgive one another, but it’s super important not to forget what caused the conflict and how you managed to solve it.
‘The past is the past’
Like we just said, it’s important not to forget what has happened in your relationship. It’s just as important to acknowledge that both you and your partner had a past before becoming a couple. A lot of people believe that it’s best not to talk about past relationships in order to move forward together as a couple. But it’s actually better to talk openly about your other relationships and what happened. In addition to discussing past relationships it’s also important to know about what your partner’s life was like before you met them. It is often a bad sign if they are very secretive about their former life. You can still be a forward-looking couple even if you know about your partner’s history.
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A lot of people believe that jealousy is the sign of a good relationship, thinking that your partner must really like/love you if they feel jealousy. And while a little bit of jealousy here and there is not a big deal, constant jealousy is actually the sign of an unhealthy relationship. Jealousy can lead to controlling behaviors, which can lead to toxicity and even abuse. You should absolutely not overlook consistently jealous behaviors.
“Your friends just don’t get it”
If your friends and family members do not like your partner this is often a bad sign. Your friends and family know you best, and often may be able to judge your partner more clearly than you can, because they are not caught up in the romance of the new relationship. It can be hard to hear that your bff is not into your new boo, but you should listen to them if they share any hesitations about them or their personality. People are quick to suggest that ‘you know your partner best’ or ‘they act differently around you’ and that ‘your friends just don’t get it’, but more often than not, if EVERYONE around you doesn’t like this person, you’re the one that’s missing something, not them.
If you feel comfortable using social platforms to get relationship advice, you and your partner should consider using Relish. Relish is an app that both you and your partner can download to get customized relationship advice. Within the app, you will take quizzes and fill out questionnaires so that the relationship experts can better understand the ins and outs of your relationship. The great thing about Relish (that sets it apart from forums on Reddit and elsewhere) is that you are communicating with a trained relationship coach, who has experience helping couples work through their problems. The coach will help you make goals as a partnership, and work towards achieving the goals in incremental, manageable ways.
Relish is more interactive than a Reddit forum, just as anonymous and convenient and will likely lead to better advice that can solve your relationship problems. Ready to get started? Try Relish free for one week - no strings attached!