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15 Words of Wisdom for Women in Need of Relationship Advice

Romantic relationships are wonderful, complicated, and difficult all at the same time. Even in the healthiest of couples, rough patches are bound to arise. It’s only natural! Whether you’re stressed from a new job, aren’t feeling appreciated, or just want more alone time, you’re bound to butt heads eventually.

There’s plenty of advice out there for couples, but what about relationship advice for women in particular? While many relationship tips can be used across the board, there is certain advice that speaks directly to women.

Here, we’ve rounded up 15 words of advice from relationship experts to help give you confidence while improving your relationship.

1. Prioritize Yourself

You can’t be the best partner until you’re the best version of you! As important as it is to prioritize your relationship and your partner’s needs, you also need to make time for yourself. Practicing self-care is critical for your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Try exercising, meditation, journaling, reading, a new hobby, or anything that makes you feel good about yourself.

Along with self-care, part of prioritizing yourself means setting boundaries in your romantic relationship. This allows you to clearly express your needs and expectations to your partner. Do you need open, honest communication? Conflict that doesn’t resort to yelling? Whatever they are, make sure your partner understands and respects your boundaries. (And you do the same for them!)

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2. Live Your Own Life

As much as you and your partner love spending time together, having time to yourself is incredibly important. There is some absolute truth to the phrase, “absence makes the heart grow fonder!”

You don’t need to spend a ton of time apart — the key is to allow enough space for each of you to grow individually and ensure you don’t become too dependent on each other. It can be as simple as sitting on the porch alone with a cup of coffee, or laying in the bedroom watching a movie while your partner reads in the other room. A little bit of distance here and there is enough to help you appreciate each other more and grow closer as a couple.

3. Practice Active Listening

It’s so easy to get lost inside your own mind while someone else is talking. If you find yourself planning your response while your partner is talking, rather than focus on what they are saying, you likely need to work on active listening.

Active listening means you’re paying full attention to what someone is saying, while checking in to make sure you understand key points. Your posture is open and inviting, you’re making eye contact as they speak, and offering verbal and nonverbal confirmation that you’re listening (a head nod, a “right, I understand,” etc.).

Active listening also means you’re not interrupting, getting defensive, or being condescending. It’s all about paying close attention, asking questions, and summarizing what they are saying to ensure you understand.

4. Say Thank You More

Sometimes, when we’re in long-term relationships, we tend to start taking each other for granted. While you may appreciate everything your partner does, you might not be verbalizing it as much as you should.

Think about any small gestures your partner does all the time. Do they make you coffee every morning? Do they always fill up the gas tank for you? Make dinner every night? Whatever is, try saying thank you for it more often!

When couples start to expect certain behaviors or that your partner is “supposed” to do certain things, it causes major problems in the relationship. When you forget to stop and show gratitude, it leads one or both of you to feel undervalued or unappreciated. The little things your partner does should matter just as much as the big ones, and the more you show each other that, the stronger your bond will be.

5. Know When to Say Sorry

Apologizing is so important in a romantic relationship. Not only does it show that you acknowledge your behavior, but it’s also a significant stress-reducer (for both of you). While you shouldn’t just apologize for every little thing, you should be saying sorry when it’s truly warranted.

A sincere (not forced) apology shows that you’re aware of your hurtful behavior and that you’ll work hard not to repeat it. It helps re-establish dignity in your partner if it’s not their fault, and helps you feel comfortable around each other again. Learning how to apologize can actually help decrease conflict in your relationship, since you’re more easily able to put it behind you and move forward.

Here are a few tips for apologizing sincerely:

  • Express remorse or regret (for example, “I wish I would have been more thoughtful”)
  • Find a way to amend the situation (for example, “Is there any way I can build your trust again?”)
  • Discuss and reaffirm each other’s boundaries
  • Own up to your part in the conflict
  • Don’t try to control your partner’s response (for example, if they need more time to forgive you, then let it go for now)

A sincere apology provides the opportunity to discuss what is allowed and not allowed in your relationship and helps you learn from your mistakes. Moving forward, you can find new ways of dealing with conflict.

Learning to apologize isn’t always easy. The expert relationship coaches at Relish can help! Download the app and get access to personalized lessons, advice, and quizzes. Your first week is free! Click here to take our relationship quiz!

6. Learn to Resolve Arguments

Along with apologizing, it’s helpful to sharpen your conflict skills. Every couple argues at some point or another (even the really happy ones!), so learning to effectively resolve them can work wonders for your relationship.

If you and your partner are in an argument, there are a few things you can do to keep it from ruining the whole day. First, disengage if you feel yourself getting heated! It’s okay to take a breath, walk away from the conversation, and revisit it when you’re in a better state of mind. As hard as it can be, staying calm is essential for resolving arguments amicably. Listen with empathy, let go of the need to be right, and work on finding common ground.

7. Compromise is Key

Compromising is crucial, especially during an argument! When you’re fighting with your partner, think about the problem in the long run — is it worth all of the stress right now? If the argument is over something small in the grand scheme of things (i.e., not about buying a boat, for example), then compromise would be the perfect solution.

Think of a compromise as the “third option.” Your partner has their suggestion, you have yours, and the compromise is a fair mix of the two. Try to be as empathetic as possible with each other and lay out all of your options. Sometimes, relationships take a little sacrifice, so even if you’re not 100 percent satisfied withthe outcome, your relationship will thank you for it down the road.

8. Don't Keep Score

Keeping score all the time is a quick way to derail your relationship. You’re basically tallying what your partner does and doesn’t do as a way to try and give yourself an upper hand. (Needless to say, this is totally unhealthy.)

If you’re constantly keeping score, your partner will begin to feel they aren’t enough. If you do it enough, it can also negatively impact how you feel about your partner. It’s so necessary to think of yourselves as a team! It doesn’t matter who always does the dishes or feeds the cat — what matters is that you’re both doing things to help out in the relationship. It isn’t about you or them, it’s about the both of you together!

9. Be Aware of Projections

Projecting means you’re unconsciously taking unwanted traits or emotions you don’t like in yourself and attributing them to someone else. For example, if someone is cheating on their partner, they may start to accuse their partner of cheating instead of acknowledging their own infidelity. Projection can also be simple. For example, maybe your partner is talking so much during a conversation that you can’t get a word in, so you interrupt, and then they accuse you of not being a good listener.

Projecting onto someone else is incredibly detrimental, especially in romantic relationships. The best way to stop this habit is to dig deep and do some self-reflection. What are your weaknesses? What behaviors are you engaging in to contribute to them? (It might be easier to write them down.)

Another way to help? Ask a friend! Someone close to you might be able to tell you whether or not you’re projecting onto your partner. Sometimes, it’s hard to see patterns of behavior in ourselves (especially projection), so a third-party can help put things into perspective.

10. Remember That No One is Perfect

As much as movies and TV want to convince us otherwise, there is no such thing as a perfect human. Part of being in a happy, romantic relationship means setting realistic expectations for your partner. Expecting them to treat you with respect? Realistic. Expecting them to never argue with you? Totally unrealistic.

The key is to have an open mind and embrace change. Relationships won’t stay the same over time, and you both need to be willing to adapt and adjust as needed. You and your partner will always have flaws, and not all of them are deal-breakers!

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11. Celebrate Differences

We’ve all heard the phrase “opposites attract,” and in some cases, it’s true. Instead of worrying about your differences, learn to embrace them! Many times, you can actually balance each other out. In fact, differences can also teach you things. If you’re an introvert, maybe your extroverted partner helps bring you out of your shell. If you’re an avid planner, maybe your partner can help you learn to live in the moment.

Whether you’re a lot alike or have your share of differences, the most important thing is having a shared vision of your future together. You need to be on the same page about boundaries, expectations and values. Otherwise, appreciate the differences you share!

12. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

Three words: pick your battles! As we’ve learned, arguments are inevitable in romantic relationships, but don’t let the little things consume them all! If you’re constantly arguing over where to eat dinner or who does the dishes, you’ll end up resenting each other.

If you and your partner find that you’re bickering constantly over little things, there may be an underlying issue in your relationship. According to relationship experts, if you’re constantly battling over trivial things, it could mean that you’re not feeling fulfilled or satisfied with your partner. Instead of pointing out small mistakes or getting frustrated easily, start focusing on what you appreciate about your partner.

What little things do they do all the time that you’re truly thankful for? Do they send you sweet texts during the day? Make you coffee every morning? Make your favorite dinner when you’ve had a rough day? Rather than focus on the negative little things, focus on the good ones!

13. Mind Readers Don't Exist

Whether we like to admit it or not, we’ve all had instances when we were annoyed that our partners couldn’t tell how we were feeling. Unfortunately, no one is a mind reader! You may think you’re sending all the right (or wrong) signals, but odds are, your partner has no idea what you’re thinking.

This is where good communication comes into play. You can’t expect your partner to address an issue if you don’t tell them what it is. Along these lines, passive aggressive comments don’t work either. Think about it: we’ve all heard the jokes about women saying “I’m fine” when they are, in fact, not fine. Instead of playing head games, be direct with your partner about what you’re feeling.

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14. Speak Your Mind

The National Survey of Women found that a whopping 95 percent of women said they want to talk through their emotional process with their partners, and they value any input they get in return. Makes sense, right? Women turn to their partners for support when they’re working through emotions — and that’s a good thing!

Since mind readers don’t exist, you need to speak up to your partner. One of the biggest ways to keep your relationship healthy is by maintaining good communication. Don’t keep your partner guessing about how you’re feeling — tell them! If you feel like you’re unable to be open and honest with your partner, there may be some underlying issues going on. Are they closed off or emotionally unavailable? Or do you have trouble being vulnerable?

Remember, you’re allowed to feel whatever emotion you’re feeling! Don’t be afraid to tell your partner something they might disagree with. One of the best parts of being in a romantic relationship is having someone you can talk to about anything. If you are not able to, it might be time to re-evaluate your relationship.

15. Take Your Time

There is no need to rush when it comes to romance! Take it slow and let the relationship progress at a comfortable pace. If you start off at full-speed, you’re more likely to end up hurt.

Set healthy boundaries and work on building a strong foundation of trust and respect. It’s hard to do that if you’re rushing! When you take your time, you’re able to build a physical and emotional connection at a relaxed pace that’s pressure-free. After all, you’re still getting to know each other!

Relationship advice for women doesn’t have to be complicated! These 15 tips can help keep your romantic relationship healthy and thriving. The most important thing to remember is to never lose who you are in a relationship. A romantic relationship is all about give and take, but if your core values are being compromised, you might not be with the right person.

Keep trying new things together, be open and honest when you communicate, establish healthy boundaries, learn to forgive each other, and let the little things go. Keeping the above tips in mind will help you build a strong, healthy, long-term relationship!

Couples everywhere are using apps to connect, communicate and make life more convenient. With Relish, you’ll learn key insights into your relationship, understand your partner’s needs better, and help keep the spark alive. Take our relationship quiz to get started!

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