The "Touched Out" Excuse Can Cripple Your Relationship
For stay-at-home moms and dads, although there isn’t a 401K and the co-workers are (usually) a little needier and more dependent than in an office, being a full-time caretaker can feel like the hardest work in the world. After a long day of feedings and diaper changes, or if your kids are a bit older, chasing after them and staying vigilant with snacks, when you spend your hours carrying tiny people up and down staircases, buckling and unbuckling them in and out of car seats… the last thing in the world, when your partner comes home, is physical contact. You’re touched out.
Take A Time Out
Good news: you can take a “touched out” time-out without shutting down the passion in your partnership. April Eldemire, LMFT explains, “Affection doesn’t have to be only physical; couples can still stay close and intimate through verbal and non-physical tenderness. Talking about what feels good, expressing appreciation, and keeping daily rituals of connection in place can be a welcome source of comfort.”
It’s tempting to retreat from everyone and everything once the kids are asleep, but doesn’t taking a purposeful time-out from feeling touched out sound better? (She also recommends scheduling sex and says that while it may sound silly, “many couples report that scheduling time to make love keeps them committed to following through.” Something to look forward to!)
Good news: you can take a “touched out” time-out without shutting down the passion in your partnership.
Try This Suggestion From One Of Our Relishers...
“Hey, taking care of your kid(s) is tough all day; I know because I do it! My partner and I have found a sweet spot: when he gets home from work, he takes over baby duty (and sometimes doodie!) while I cook dinner. The benefit is twofold: a) He gets quality time with his daughter, and b) I get to take a re-set while I prepare dinner. By the time he’s done I’m ready for that welcome home hug! It’s a perfect break for both of us.”