The Truth Behind Giving Up on Love (And How to Change Your Mindset)

We've all been there — the person you're seeing didn't turn out to be who you thought they were. Maybe you feel like giving up on love all together, and we totally understand!

Modern dating can be so complicated and messy that the thought of giving up sounds almost appealing. But here’s the thing: that's easier said than done! Love is a basic human need, and whether you receive it from family, friends, or a romantic partner, it’s impossible to completely give up on the idea of it.

Life is a long, winding, unpredictable journey. It’s completely okay to feel down in the dumps about your love life, but writing it off completely? Don’t even think about it! Things might seem tough right now, but giving up on love isn’t the answer.

What Happens When You Give Up on Love?

Giving up on love creates a close-minded, cynical mindset that’s bound to cause trust and commitment issues. Think about it: If you decide that love isn’t for you, you’re giving up the belief that you’re capable of finding true happiness with someone else.

Moreover, you start to believe that any romantic relationship is a farce, including those that your friends and family members are in. You’re not able to accept that two people can live happily together, which creates an unhealthy world view.

Giving up on love can also cause significant loneliness. You start focusing solely on your own needs and ignore the idea that you can still find love. Self-protection is your defense mechanism and what you believe is most important, and eventually, you’ll begin to alienate yourself from others.

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Why You Shouldn’t Give Up on Love

You might feel pretty down in the dumps right now, but there are so many reasons not to give up on love! It all starts with altering your mindset. Sure, you haven’t met the right person yet, but instead of dwelling on your bad luck, focus on finding the positives.

Here are few thoughts to keep in mind when you feel like giving up on love: Everyone You Meet Teaches You Something New You’ve gone on so many bad dates lately that you’ve lost count, but the silver lining? Every person you meet is an opportunity to learn something new.

For example, maybe your last date was a trainwreck, but they introduced you to a new music group that you absolutely love. Count that as a win! You can also learn more about your own needs. Each person you meet helps give you a better idea of the type of partner you want.

Every Bad Relationship Brings You Closer to the Right One

Every failed relationship is just a stepping stone on your journey to finding “your person.” (And you only need to find one!) The bad experiences might leave a bitter taste in your mouth, but remember that they’re only speed bumps.

Since dating helps you determine the type of partner you need, you’ll stop wasting your time on people that wouldn’t make you happy.

Finding Love Takes a Lot of Work

If it feels like it’s taking forever to find “the one,” you’re not alone. It takes work! (All good things come to those who wait, right?) You might feel defeated after a few breakups, but the truth is, it’s going to take time. The best things in life don’t always come easy, and the same goes for finding love!

Instead of feeling discouraged, think about the strength and resilience you’ve shown thus far. Dating is tough! But when you think about how far you’ve come and all that you’ve learned from your experiences, that’s got to give you a confidence boost, right?

Relationships take a lot of work, and Relish is here to help! Get access to personalized lessons, insights while chatting with an expert relationship coach any time of day. Your first week is free!

Letting Go of the Wrong One Opens the Door for the Right One

Maybe you’re still hung up on an ex or are stuck in a make-up-break-up cycle with someone. Whatever the case, they are probably a big part of the reason you’re thinking about giving up on love.

If you genuinely want to find a loving relationship, you need to let go of the ones who are not worth your energy. It can be tough if you feel like you broke up with someone who could have been the “right” person, but if things ended, it’s probably for a good reason. You can’t make room for someone great if you don’t remove toxic people from your life.

A Positive Attitude Changes Everything

If you’re constantly telling yourself that you’ll never find love, it will end up becoming a reality. This is why it’s so important to have a positive mindset!

To start, try replacing negative self-talk with hope and optimism. If you convince yourself that you’ll find love, no matter how long it takes, it helps boost your confidence and motivates you to keep trying. Moreover, your positive energy will attract a positive person, too!

You Are Worthy of Love

It’s easy to be harsh on yourself when your love life is struggling. If you’re thinking about giving up on love, then you’re telling yourself that you’re simply not worth the effort — and that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

When you feel bummed about your dating life, start focusing on self-care. After all, you can’t truly find happiness until you’re happy with yourself first. Part of that means feeling secure with who you are and knowing that, no matter what, you are worthy of finding love.

No one (even you!) is “destined” to be alone forever. Once you shift your main focus from finding love to becoming the best version of yourself, you’re more likely to find it. If you truly want a relationship and put in the effort to find the right person, you will! It really is that simple.

At the end of the day, giving up on love will only reinforce all of the negative emotions you might be feeling right now. When you decide to power on and remain hopeful and optimistic, you’ll end up with someone you truly deserve.

You are worthy of a great relationship, and Relish is here to make sure it happens. Download our award-winning relationship coaching app and try personalized lessons, quizzes, games, and more! Start your 7-day free trial.