How to Write the Perfect Love Note for Your Partner

In a world of technology and near constant communication, there's something special about receiving a love note in the mail, during a special event, or just because. Even when you have access to instant forms of communication, whether it’s through texts, phone calls, FaceTime or Zoom, it’s important to remember to express love in more romantic, conventional ways. While it may seem corny or overly romantic to send a letter via snail mail, you will find that you are actually able to convey more emotion and deeper sentiments when you are writing a letter. It can be difficult to fully capture your feelings when writing a quick text message or talking on the phone because of the immediacy that these mediums require. Letter writing allows you to really think out what you want to say, edit it to perfection and send it off to your loved one. The slowed down time frame ensures that you can really capture what you want to say. And the fact that a letter comes in physical form makes it more special and gift-like than a well crafted text message.

In addition to being thoughtful and romantic, writing a letter can inspire an ongoing letter exchange with your partner, which is a fun way to stay in touch. Everyone loves receiving mail! Exchanging letters with your partner will make receiving mail more exciting, and will give you something to look forward to every once and a while. Even if you and your partner live in the same house, it can be cute to send them a letter in the mail as a little surprise to show that you were thinking of them. If you are so totally down for the romantic letter idea, but have no idea how to go about writing one, don’t fear (!!), you are not alone. Since letter writing has kind of gone out of fashion in recent years, a lot of people have no idea how to craft a love letter.

Here are a few tips you can refer to if you are trying to write the perfect love note to your partner:

* Start with a loving sentiment

While you don’t necessarily need a special occasion to write a love letter, it is helpful to pinpoint a general sentiment that you are trying to convey. Choosing a general framing such as missing you, appreciation, hardship, a holiday or special event or even just thinking of you can help you focus the letter and your thoughts. It can feel overwhelming to try and capture all of your feelings in a love letter, so focusing on why you miss your partner, what you appreciate about them, or what the holiday means to you, etc., etc. can help when you are putting pen to paper. Starting with a good framing will make the letter less intimidating to write, and it will help you focus your writing.

Once you have the sentiment of the letter figured out, follow these writing tips to ensure that the letter is romantic:

* Write a draft

Even though we run the risk of sounding like your high school English teacher, we highly recommend writing a rough draft of your love letter before sending it off. Drafts help you organize your thoughts in a coherent manner that will let the letter flow more naturally than if you take a first stab at it and send it off. Writing a draft will also help you catch spelling and grammar errors that might detract from the sentiment of your letter. If you aren’t confident about your spelling and grammar, consider writing a draft in word or Google docs. Doing this will help you organize your thoughts, change the structure around and catch any spelling or grammar mistakes along the way. Whether you use a computer program or do the draft by hand, working out all the structure beforehand will allow you to focus on your penmanship and overall delivery while you draft the final version. Committing to drafting the letter before writing the final copy will also force you to take more time to write the letter, which is necessary when trying to convey deep emotions.

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* Let yourself be vulnerable

The whole point of writing a love note to your partner is conveying emotion that you aren’t able to convey on a normal basis or with other forms of communication. Conveying these emotions will require you to open up and be vulnerable with your partner. If you are taking the time to write a letter, it’s important that the letter is sincere and heartfelt. Being vulnerable will require you to really reflect about how your partner makes you feel, and put these feelings into words. Don’t worry about being cheesy or cliche, try to just express your emotions in the most genuine way possible. Even if you do come across as a little bit cliche, your partner will recognize that you are being vulnerable, and will appreciate the sentiment. It’s pretty easy to tell when someone is ‘phoning it it’, so if you are committed to writing a love note, open up!

* Consider the occasion

Like we said before, there doesn’t need to be an occasion to write a love letter, but it’s sometimes helpful to have a reason. Even though a ‘just because’ letter is super fun to receive, sending a letter to celebrate an anniversary, birthday, favorite holiday or to congratulate a promotion or some other special occasion will make your partner feel extra special. Writing a letter takes time and preparation, so pulling off a letter delivered on-time for a special day shows that you were planning ahead and put a lot of thought into the letter.

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* Be specific

When you are writing a love letter to your partner, it’s important to be super specific about your feelings. Use examples that illustrate your feelings. Include inside jokes or things that you two share as a couple. This car should not read like some generic hallmark card that anyone could have written to them, it should be intimate and have lots of special and specific details that make them feel seen and loved. The ultimate goal of a love letter is to make your partner feel seen, supported and appreciated by you. This means that you need to make it personalized! Take some time to think of good examples, stories or other special things that you can share in the letter.

* Don't rush the process

Let’s be honest. Writing doesn’t come naturally for a lot of people. Even if you are a natural writer, writing love letters can be difficult for even the best writers, because it is not something that people have a lot of practice doing. If you keep a diary or journal, writing your feelings down in a letter format might come more easily to you, but for the rest of us, it is often a pretty difficult undertaking. Before you start the process, go into the letter writing with an open state of mind, and an understanding that it might take you a while. If you want the letter to be genuine and lovey, set aside a good couple of days to think about what you want to write in the letter, and to play around with how to phrase things. Like we said before, it’s a good idea to block out some time to draft the letter before sitting down to write the final copy. Incorporating this step into your process will take some time, which can help you avoid the tendency to rush. Rushing the process will only create more stress for you, which will result in a less special letter. Try to frame the letter writing as a fun activity, and enjoy the process. This will make letter writing more enjoyable for you, and will probably result in a better love letter for your partner.

* Get creative with stationery, paper and pens

In addition to being more romantic and special, letters are way more personalized then a text message or voice mail. While you are expressing sentiments that just can’t be shared over a simple text message, get creative with the stationery you are writing on, the envelope you are using and the pens you are writing with. If you are worried about your handwriting, write in a fun color, or a bunch of fun colors. If you don’t have fun paper, add stickers or draw little cartoon drawings. If you don’t have a fun envelope, decorate one. Letter writing can also be a super fun creative outlet. Experiment with water color, try your hand at a collage, print out some of your favorite couple pics, add glitter to the envelope. Get creative and make the letter even more personal by adding some artistic flair. Even though the letter is ultimately for your partner, you should make sure that you have fun with the process which can mean using letter writing as a creative outlet if need be.

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