Everything You Need To Know About 'Quality Time' - The Most Popular Love Language
Love languages are emerging as a new philosophy that help explain relationships, friendships and family dynamics. The theory is that every person has a preferred way to receive and express their love for someone whether they are in a friendship, romantic relationship or family dynamic. There are five different ways that people prefer to give and receive love, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service and giving/receiving gifts. Some people have the same giving and receiving love language, while others have different ways they give and receive love. Understanding your love language and your partner’s love language is super important so that you know when they are demonstrating love to you and so that you can demonstrate love to them in a way that they understand and appreciate. We often think that telling someone we love them is the only way to demonstrate love to another person, but this could not be further from the truth.
Love can be shown through little gifts, helping with chores, taking time out of your day to spend with a partner, etc. etc. Understanding all the ways we demonstrate love can allow you to appreciate all the things that your partner does for you that may go unnoticed as love. Quality time is one of the most common long languages, but it is often overlooked because people discount the effort it can take to make time for another person in their schedule. Quality time is about spending one on one time with a partner whether it’s doing an activity together, watching a movie, or even just sitting in the same room doing different things. If your partner’s love language is quality time, it’s important to make time in your schedule to be together. The great thing about quality time as a love language is that there are so many different ways to spend time together.
If your love language is acts of service and your partner’s is quality time, then you can both feel fulfilled through activities that involve helping each other out while spending time together. If your love language is physical touch and your partner’s is quality time then you can spend time together giving each other massages, foot rubs or more intimate activities.... All the love languages are compatible so understanding your love languages as a couple can help you connect in important ways.
Here are a few examples of how to express quality time as a love language:
Commit to weekly date nights
After the honeymoon phase of a relationship wears off and you don’t have the need to spend every waking moment with your partner, it’s important that you still prioritize quality time, especially if it is your partner’s love language. A great way to do this is to commit to weekly date nights! Date nights don’t have to be an elaborate ordeal, just mark a night on the calendar and agree to watch a movie, make dinner together, or try a new restaurant. Scheduling time in this way can feel a little bit contrived, but on the other hand, it’s a great way to make sure that you are making time for each other. Scheduling a date night can also give you something to look forward to during a hectic week!
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Put the phone down
Quality time is all about being in each other’s presence. You don’t necessarily need to be doing an activity together, and you don’t have to give 100% of your attention to your partner, but it is important to try and be present when you are together, which means put down your phone. In this day and age it can be super difficult to find the time to hang out as a couple between work, commuting, chores and social calendars which means that when you are with your partner you need to make it count!
Start a new hobby together
A great way to spend quality time with a partner is to start a new hobby together. Have you always wanted to try a new sport? Or get into arts and crafts? Or try out cooking or baking? Trying out a new hobby together is guaranteed quality time together. Plus trying new things will encourage you to learn together and it will keep your relationship feeling fresh and fun. Finding what hobby you will take on as a couple also counts as trial and error and can be a fun experience for you both.
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Take a road trip
If you and your partner have some free time on your hands, consider going on a road trip as a way to spend quality time together. Pick a spot that you have always wanted to visit and plan your route to get there. You and your partner can spend time together planning the trip in addition to spending time together during the trip. Seeing new places together, or sharing your favorite spot with your partner can bring you closer as a couple while you are spending quality time together. Road trips can often be more special than other trips because of the sheer amount of time you spend one one one with each other. Having some road trip games prepared, and a couple of stops along the way that involve seeing other people can help break up the togetherness so that the quality time is fun and positive.
Communicating your needs
Communication is key in every relationship. If your partner’s love language is quality time and you aren’t sure how to best express that to them, ASK! Your partner will know what kinds of things make them feel the most loved, seen and supported. And asking your partner will show them that you are trying to support them which is an act of love and kindness in and of itself. While you are showing your partner love through quality time it is important to communicate your love language needs as well and to consider how your love language needs (whether it’s words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service or giving/receiving gifts) can be met.
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