Myth Busted: The Truth Behind 'Right Person, Wrong Time'
How many times have you heard someone say they met someone great, but it was just “the wrong time?” Maybe they think it would’ve worked out if they had met a couple of years earlier, or if they weren’t about to start a big new career.
Meeting the right person “at the wrong time” is a common excuse for the demise of a relationship, but when you really think about it, how can it be true? If you truly met the right person, the timing wouldn’t matter, right?
There are plenty of reasons relationships don’t work out. Maybe you don’t share the same values, you’re polar opposites who find it hard to get along, or there just isn’t a strong enough connection. But blaming an external factor such as time doesn’t exactly make sense. If you meet the right person — your soulmate, if you will — it’s likely that nothing would stop you from being together.
Now, we’re not saying that your relationship will play out like “The Notebook.” That said, the movie is a great example of how if you meet the right person, there’s nothing that can stand in your way. You’re meant to be! Which begs the question, is “right person, wrong time” a myth?
We think so! Let’s take a look at some of the reasons people use the excuse “right person, wrong time,” and why the actual problem might not have to do with a calendar.
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Big Life Events
When big life moments interfere with your love life, it can cause you to pull back. Whether you lost your job, had a death in the family, or are going through a tough custody battle, certain situations can make you emotionally unavailable. Because of this, you might decide to end a relationship since you’re not able to give it your full attention.
When this happens, you might say it was “right person, wrong time.” You had too much going on, so it makes sense, right? If you weren’t going through a tough time, things might have worked out.
Here’s the issue with that: if you meet the right person, big life events might be inconvenient, but they won’t stop the two of you from being together. Life is full of ups and downs, but that doesn’t mean you should stop yourself from falling in love! If anything, your new partner will be there to support you during a difficult situation. Maybe they actually came into your life at the perfect time to help get you through it!
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They Were Moving Too Fast
When two people start dating, it’s possible that one might want to progress the relationship quicker than the other person. If that happens, you might say something like, “They were great, but they just wanted to move too fast.”
So, the excuse might be that maybe they were the right person, but you just weren’t ready to be committed yet. Unfortunately, that type of excuse might be an attempt to cover up the real issues going on. Do you find yourself saying “the timing wasn’t right” whenever someone gets too close? If so, a fear of intimacy might actually be the problem, not timing.
It’s worth repeating that when you meet the right person, there isn’t much that can stand in your way. You’ll want to be close, intimate, and committed. There isn’t a concern about how fast or slow you’re moving — you just want to be together. If anything, you want to be around each other too much! If that’s not how you feel, then it could be your own fear or insecurities standing in the way, or you’ve simply met the wrong person.
The Right Person is Timeless
The reality is, when you meet the right person, the timing doesn’t matter. There is no wrong time to meet “the one!” While you should never completely give up your prior life, the right person will outweigh anything else going on. You’ll want to prioritize them and your relationship, no matter what situation you are in.
The right person is timeless. They will make you want to throw your plans to the side and focus on your future together. Moreover, you’ll realize that any plans you did have just don’t seem as enjoyable without them by your side! Everything's better when they are around. You may even start to wonder how you ever made it through life without them. When you feel that strongly for someone, there’s nothing that can stop you from moving forward together — especially timing.
The right person will never stand in the way of anything going on in your life. In fact, they will encourage you to pursue dreams and reach goals. They’ll lift you up when you’re feeling down and bring out the best version of yourself.
If there’s a reason you don’t want to be with someone, it’s likely that you’ve simply met the wrong person. It’s always the right time to meet “the one,” so if you’re feeling unsure, then you’re probably not meant to be! If you’re using the excuse “the timing is wrong,” what you’re actually saying is that the person isn’t worth your time. If they are “your person,” you’ll make time (it really is that simple!). Let your intuition guide you. Throw the clock and calendar out the window — if you meet someone great, they won’t matter!
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