52 Romantic Questions For Getting to Know Your Partner Better
No matter what stage of the relationship you are in, it’s always a good time to learn more about your partner. Sometimes important topics will naturally arise in conversation, but other times, it’s necessary to ask your partner specific questions so that you can learn more about them. Here are questions to ask your partner at different stages of the relationship so that you can deepen your connection to one another.
At the beginning of a relationship, it’s important to get to know your partner. Asking things about their childhood and their general preferences or habits can give you a good idea of who they are as a person. Here are some questions to ask a new partner:
1. What’s your favorite nickname?
Asking about a nickname will not only give you ideas about what to call your new partner, but it will also likely elicit a story about the loved one that coined the name.
2. Describe your family dynamic.
Understanding your new partner’s family dynamic, or at least where they fall in the birth order of their siblings will give you insight into who they are.
3. What’s your weirdest habit or quirk?
Might as well know what to prepare yourself for! Asking about a weird habit or quirk before it comes up will save you the surprise of discovering it on your own.
4. What were you like in high school?
While not all high school stereotypes are true, understanding what your partner was like in high school can give you a general idea of what they were like when they were younger.
5. What is your love language?
Love languages are super important to understand when you are starting a new relationship. Asking your partner about their preferred ways to give and receive love will help you support them in the relationship moving forward.
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6. What is your conflict style?
It’s important to understand your new partner’s conflict style so that when conflicts do eventually arise, you are able to navigate them effectively.
7. What’s your astrological sign?
Though not everyone believes in astrology, it can be helpful to know your partner’s star chart so that you can compare compatibility and get a general sense of their personality.
8. What’s your greatest talent?
Let your new partner brag about themselves! Asking them about their greatest talent will give you insight into something that they are proud of.
9. What’s your biggest weakness?
While it’s great to hype your partner up, it’s also important to understand what their flaws are. Asking this question will not only encourage them to reflect a little, but it will also give you a heads up about their flaws.
10. What are your expectations for the relationship?
In addition to light hearted questions, it’s good to establish expectations for the relationship early on. This often won’t come up out of the blue, so it can be important to directly ask your partner this question so that you are on the same page about things moving forward.
11. Why did your last relationship end?
In a mature relationship, you and your partner should be able to talk about your past partners and relationships. Understanding why their last relationship ended can show you what the deal breakers are for your partner.
12. How would you describe your spending habits?
Financial disagreements are often the source of relationship problems. Understanding your new partner’s spending habits from the beginning will help you make sure you’re on the same page, or it will at least give you insight into your different spending habits. In the short term it’s also good to know to help you better understand who’s getting the bill.
13. Are you a competitive person?
Many people have somewhat hidden competitive streaks that come out in full force during certain activities. Knowing if your partner is competitive, or having them admit that they are competitive can prepare you when the streak comes out.
14. Have you ever cheated on a past partner?
This might seem like a serious question to ask at the beginning of a relationship, and while it is serious, it’s ultimately really important to know what your new partner thinks about fidelity and cheating. If they have cheated in the past, this can give them an opportunity to explain the situation and promise that it’s not going to happen again…
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After getting to know your partner in the early stages of the relationship, it’s important to keep learning about each other. Here are some light hearted and random conversation starters that you can refer to if you’re ever at a loss for what to talk about. Even though these questions are silly and fun, they will give you some insight into your partner:
15. What are ten things you would bring to a desert island?
This is a great icebreaker question! Hearing your partner reason through this question will give you insight into how they think and it will likely spark an interesting conversation.
16. What’s your dream vacation?
Who doesn’t want to plan out a dream vacation?! Especially these days, when we are all cooped up at home due to the pandemic. Asking about your partner’s dream vacay will prompt a fun conversation and will maybe even inspire your next trip.
17. Do you believe in karma?
This is a fun question to ask if you are interested in your partner’s general life philosophy. Whether someone does or doesn’t believe in karma often provides insight into how they treat people.
18. Do you believe in an afterlife?
While this is a potentially morbid question depending on your partner’s response, it is good to know what your partner thinks about life on earth and the potential of an afterlife.
19. If money didn’t matter, what would you want to do for a living?
This is always a fun question to ask to get an idea of what your partner is most happy doing. Or what their favorite hobby is.
20. What would your superpower be?
This might seem like a cheesy icebreaker-y question, but it’s a fun conversation starter! And it will probably come up during one of those couples dating games that you will inevitably play together, so better just to ask and to know.
21. How would you spend one million dollars?
Let’s say you win the lottery while you’re together as a couple, it’s good to know in advance how your partner would spend the money. Or to at least understand if they are savvy, greedy or altruistic.
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22. What’s the best gift you have ever received?
Asking about your partner’s favorite gift will not only give you insight into the kind of things that your partner values, but it will also give you ideas for the next gift giving occasion!
23. Have you ever met a famous person?
A lot more people than you realize have crossed paths with a famous person. Whether it was a good experience or a bad experience, it’s bound to be a good story!
24. Who is your celebrity crush?
Ask who your partner’s celebrity crush is and why! Afterall, it’s always good to know who the competition is.
25. What’s your favorite song?
Superlatives are a great way to get to know your partner better. Whether you’re asking about a favorite song, a favorite artist, or even a favorite movie, superalities are a fun conversation starter.
26. What’s your favorite sport’s team?
Does a disagreement about sports teams count as an irreconcilable difference? Maybe! Better to find out sooner rather than later. Or atleast plan out which games you should spend apart from each other.
27. Do you like to cook?
Before you live with someone, you never really know if they enjoy cooking (or if they know how to cook) unless you ask! Cooking can be a super fun way to pass the time as a couple, whether it’s teaching your partner, learning from your partner or cooking as a team.
28. What’s your favorite meal?
Learn about your partner’s favorite meal and pledge to cook it together as a fun date night activity.
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29. What’s the best vacation you have ever taken?
Who doesn’t want to talk about vacation?! Asking your partner about their favorite past vacation will teach you a little bit more about their life and bring you closer together as a couple.
30. Who is your ideal dinner guest?
Ask your partner what celebrity or person (alive or dead) they would have over for dinner. This is a fun conversation starter that can tell you a surprising amount about your partner.
31. What is your favorite childhood memory?
Asking about your partner’s childhood, especially the good parts, will let you get to know them on a deeper level and will show you the things and people that are important to them.
32. Do you sing in the shower?
Like the question about cooking it’s hard to know this about someone unless you live with them, so you might as well ask! This is also a fun thing to guess, you might find that you’re surprised by their answer!
33. What’s your guilty pleasure?
Does your partner have a huge sweet tooth? Do they LOVE terrible horror movies? Talking about your guilty pleasures can be a funny and embarrassing way to get to know each other better.
Throughout your relationship, it’s important to keep up the tradition of date night. No matter how long you have been together, it’s important to continue to prioritize your partner and your time together as a couple. And you can do this through date night! The following are some romantic questions reserved for date nights or other intimate occasions:
34. What’s your favorite date night activity?
Does your partner prefer a quiet night in? A night on the town? Or a fancy romantic dinner? Knowing this and changing things up if you have different preferences will keep date night fun for everyone.
35. What’s the best setting for date night?
Along the same lines as the last question, does your partner prefer intimate date night activities? Or something to get you both out of the house?
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36. What is a romantic fantasy of yours?
This might be a question better saved for a more private time, but, regardless, it is definitely something worth exploring with your partner!
37. What’s your favorite romcom?
Everyone has a favorite romcom, even if they are slow to admit it. Knowing whether your partner is a 500 Days of Summer person or a 10 Things I Hate About your kind of person is important!
38. What makes you feel the most loved?
In addition to knowing your partner’s love language, it’s important to know what specific things make them feel most loved. A box of chocolates? Taking time to go on a walk? Leaving little notes around the house? Sending a cute good morning text?
39. What’s your favorite thing about me?
It never hurts to fish for compliments every once in a while. In a relationship it’s important to continually show your partner that they are loved. Sometimes you just need your partner to say something nice about you. This question can prompt a complement and help you feel the love.
After being with your partner for a significant amount of time, you might begin to ask yourself if you are ready to take things to the next level. Are you ready to be a serious couple? Are you ready to talk about marriage or life companionship? Here are a few questions to ask your partner (and yourself) if you are considering taking your relationship to the next level:
40. What are your thoughts on religion?
It’s important to know if your partner is religious and if it is important for your religions to match up. Will you be expected to convert? Or is religion not an important factor in the relationship?
41. Do you believe in monogamous relationships?
Even if you have been dating for a long time, it’s important to know if your partner believes in lifelong monogamy before deciding to take the next step in your relationship.
42. Are you ready to commit to a long term relationship?
Before taking the next step, it’s important that you and your partner are on the same page about commitment. Asking this kind of question directly will help you understand if your relationship is ready to level up.
43. Would you consider moving in together?
As your relationship becomes more and more serious, it’s important to start talking about moving in together. Is this something you would do before marriage? After an engagement? After marriage? Making sure that you are on the same page about this is important before taking the next step.
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44. Where do you see yourself in five years?
Your partner doesn’t need to have every detail of their five year plan decided, but it is important to know if you are both generally on the same page about what the future holds.
45. What goals do you have for the relationship?
Do you hope to be married in a few years? Do you want to move in together? Or are you comfortable seeing where things go? Asking this question will show you whether your visions for the relationship are in alignment.
46. Where do you want to live in the future?
Location can be a deal breaker in serious relationships. Does your partner have plans to move to Antarctica? Or back to their hometown? These are things you need to know before taking things to the next level.
47. Wedding? Large or small?
First things first, it’s important that you and your partner are on the same page about whether or not your want to be married. And if you do want to be married, what do you want the ceremony to be like?
48. What is something you are not willing to compromise on?
Before getting any more serious, it’s important to know if there are deal breakers for your partner and what those deal breakers are.
49. Are you satisfied with our sex life?
Sex is an important part of any serious relationship, so whether you are sexually active or waiting until marriage, be sure that your partner is satisfied with this decision and satisfied in the bedroom if you are having sex.
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50. Do we make each other better people?
If you are looking for a lifelong partner, it’s important that you both encourage each other to grow. Asking if your partner makes you better and vice versa will help you evaluate if you are in a growth oriented relationship that can withstand leveling up.
51. Do you want pets?
Is your partner a dog person? Or a cat person? Are either of those things dealbreakers? Pets can be a make or break deal for some relationships!
52. Do you want children?
Along the same lines as the question about pets... do you want children? Is your partner on the same page? A long-term relationship won’t work if you aren’t on the same page about starting a family.
In addition to these questions, couples can turn to Relish, a relationship coaching app that can help you and your partner get to know each other better.
Relish offers quizzes and activities you and your partner can use to get to know each other better. Get full access to our expert relationship coaches, therapist approved quizzes, and more free for one week.