Planning For The Future, Living In The Present
Long distance... ugh. Even typing the words out feels daunting. But what if we told you that those few (hundred) miles between you and your partner didn't have to be a death sentence? With just a few shifts in perspective, you'll find yourself buzzing with optimism when you think about your long-distance relationship — which is a whole lot better than that "doomed" feeling that can creep in when attempting to wrap our minds around it.
It's All In Your Head (Except For The Distance, That's Real)
Let’s start with the fact that most of the dread around long-distance is manifested between our own ears. Nobody is denying the seemingly insurmountable obstacles in front of you, but getting past them and to the finish line is just as likely as a couple shacking up together full-time. In fact, studies show that married couples who are long-distance are no more likely to divorce than couples who aren't. See? We told you so. Dissolution of a relationship is less about proximity, and more about shifting priorities, lack of communication, and simmering resentment.
So what can we do to bolster the communication aspect? Try treating the future of your relationship less like a dream and more like a concrete plan. Look, we know that it's impossible to predict the future — but what you can do is plan for the one that's in front of you and adjust when things happen. The content of these conversations can change every single day, as long as your commitment to mapping out legitimate solutions remains steadfast.
Try treating the future of your relationship less like a dream and more like a concrete plan.
Here's some food for thought: It's a lot easier to let communication slip through the cracks when the physical proximity is being mistook as emotional proximity. A study in the Journal of Communications has shown that absence might truly make the heart grow fonder, and that couples who participate in a healthy long-distance relationship and plan their futurer together, can have more meaningful interactions than couples who see each other daily. So plan for the future, live in the present, and prepare for the unexpected… because when you’re in a long-distance romance – the unexpected is pretty much all you can expect.